Kisah Lama Menggamit Memori

Assalamualaikum.

Tiba-tiba rasa sayu. Hari ini saya ambil MC, pagi tadi perut cram jadi tak larat nak ke kerja.

Seminggu ni saya berulang ke Bangi, bagi 'training' pada new people who are coming on board of our shared services. Since this is not about work, let's not talk about that in detail.

Dulu, I am such a reserved person and I don't talk much to others. I could not speak in front of small audience, let alone a huge crowd. But Allah is generous, He knows how to make me better over time. He gave me JPA scholarship, He gave me the chance to study overseas. He gave me the chance to meet up with people and such. But still, saya masih saya. I did not mingle much, I knew very few people and I never held any important position while I was abroad. But the few people I got to know were among the best friends of mine. Alhamdulillah.

Then I had to continue my Honours year. That year was a struggle as many of my friends are all back in Malaysia. Or some were in other parts of New Zealand. I had to stay in Christchurch for another year. Frightened at first, but things were getting better and better, and finally that final year was a wonderful one! Many things happened and all are the memorable ones. New friends came along, some became very close to me. But still, I was who I am.

Then during Honours classes, I had to do presentation on things I have never learned. I was so nervous my voice did not come out at all. Lucky the lecturer did not laugh and everybody was actually waiting for me to speak. Finally I did my bad bad presentation with hoarse voice. That made me believe that I can never speak in front of a group of people, be it as small as 2 people or as big as a hall.

But now, dah boleh... I think I can talk in front of a big crowd, as long as I am familiar with the subject.

Hm...awatnya cakap pasai ni. Boring betul. There are days when you feel like doing nothing, today is one of those days. Sigh.

I went through my old blog entries, my friends' old entries, macam-macam memori datang semula. Nowadays we seldom read others' blog aye. We seldom update pun. Masing-masing dah ada jalan masing-masing. I once told a friend, my blog is actually for me to read. For me to go back in time, to remember what has happened, to revisit the feelings and such. Ada yang sedih, ada yang gembira.. And today, I am glad that I had many to read. Tapi sayang, my first blog was in Friendster *during my first and second year in Chch* and that has been archived somewhere.

Today I am a married person. Believe it or not, I once thought that I will never get married. That was when I was in primary school. I had many stupid thoughts really. I wanted to be a boy. I will never wear make up. I will never use a handbag. I keep my blouses and gowns and always wear my shorts. Even my great grandparent mistaken me for a boy. That was the time. And now I am a working lady, married to the best guy :) My wish is to become a boss and have a bunch of kids to look after. HAHA.

Ok dah tak tahu nak tulis apa. My husband is at work, I am all alone in front of this tv. Astro is on. I just realised Astro ni bukannya best pun. And until now I cannot remember the channels. Banyak sangat nombor, what la!

It is raining. Last 2 weekends my brother got married. So we were busy with the wedding. My sister in law is so slim. Habislah saya. I gained few kgs since I got married. Kalau ada baby best la jugak... ni totally fat. Oh my. Last week was our cousin's wedding. This weekend is the groom's side. Next week siapa pula nak kahwin? Nanti sometime in November is Aufa, then Ana and Atoy in December. Everybody is getting married :)

Kalau dah kahwin and we live in a big house like the one Shah Rukh Khan always has in his movie, best juga. Tinggal ramai2 wow. One of the challenge as a married person is to balance between your family and your in laws. Cerita benar, I sometimes cried (during the first few weeks of marriage) because I missed my mom. Haha. No matter how much you love your husband, your mom is always a priority. Tapi syurga di tapak kaki Suami. Jadi pandai-pandailah kite ya. Huhu.

Ok la itu sahaja.

I miss my friends, my student life, my bed in Ilam, my room in Unihall, my memories in Newnham, my bicycle and helmet, by laptop, my books and notes, my road trips, and all!

Ok dah2. Bye...