Need more blood?

Halleuuw...

Last week, the day after the horrible test, they had this blood drive at uni.
Thinking that this might be my last chance to donate kat negara omputih, I decided to give it a go.

Last time, which was about 3 years ago (haha) I was not allowed to donate because of iron deficiency. Then I was 'forced' by a doctor (which was a few months ago) at the Health Centre to take iron tablets hoping that it would help get the count back to normal. Erm...and I think it works!

Therefore I was pretty confident that this time I'll be a blood donor.
To my dissapointment, I was rejected. I was considered as taking medicine, thus can only donate 6 months after I stop taking the tablets.

"We can't take from you what you are trying to build", the nurse said.

Come to think of it, betul jugak eh. How can I give someone else something that I am lack of? Look like I was trying to do something good, but it turned out to be unwise.

You give when you have what to give. You speak when you know what to say. You teach when you have the knowledge. You fight when you have the strength. Do something when you have what it takes. Like that okay?

It's so bad that I can't even think about it positively.

Oh nooo....!!! (if you haven't watched Bill's show, you should try watch it at least once so that you could say it the way they say it in that show)

3 hours ago I was sitting for my accounting test. It's the final test before the final exam.

'So how was it?' you may ask.

Let me put these in bullet form (they always want essays and yet they give us too little time to write!)

1. Time. As usual. What's wrong with 2 hours?? What about 1.5 hours? 1 hour 15 mins??
2. Time. Can't stop complaining about this. You missed watching Formula One is it?
3. The questions la of course.
4. Myself.

I seldom express my dissatisfaction regarding my exams because I have always managed to justify my bad performance. But not this time. And I don't know why.
Pisang berbuah dua kali I guess. Last time it was just as bad, and the main issue was insufficient time. Then why on earth are you repeating the same thing? Sigh.

Wah saya sangat sedih dan kecewa. Dengan mereka dan diri sendiri.

Tak apalah, benda dah lepas. Kena tawakal.

Till then...

It is all fated...

Hallo..
I'm updating this blog so frequent as if I have nothing else to do eh?
It's more like a sequel to the previous post. Haih, sequel-sequel pulak dah.

Anyway, as I was consoling myself in my loss, something caught my eyes. Haha. A mug that I had for my 22nd birthday. A wonderful friend gave it to me, and because it is a gift, I have never intended to use it, so I just put it near the window as a decoration. It says, 'Hope your special day is the beginning of a brand new year that's full of good cheer' on the inner side of it.

Then I began to see how it was supposed to work. The mug was there all these while, waiting to take over my blue mug. Well, not literally taking over, but apparently I'm using it now, since the pieces of the old one are already in the bin.

What I'm trying to say is that things are all fated. Either we like it or not, it will happen just like how it has been determined. No matter how well you have planned, if it is not meant to be, it will never be. Erm..seems like I'm saying it from a negative point of view.

Okay, let's look at it the other way around. I've lost a mug, without realizing that I've another one waiting to be used. Had I not broke my blue mug, the brown mug might still be there beside the window, unallowed to serve its purpose as a mug. Kesian dia boring jadi hiasan.

Everything happens for a reason. I got this brown mug because one day I'd lose the blue one, and we normally don't realize this in the first place. I lost the blue one because it's high time I use the brown one. Yela, something like that lah. When we lost something, or had to let something go, it doesn't mean everything ends there. Life goes on and there's always something to look forward to. Orang kata let bygones be bygones. Masa kecik, all I know was that Bygone is an effective bug spray untuk halau pacat.

Hm, do I sound like I'm having a hard time in life? No lah. Everything's fine, only that I miss home so much.

I am destined to study overseas so that I would know how it feels to be homesick. Got it?

It's broken...

This is so frustrating.
I woke up quite early, had breakfast and even managed to read the whole handout which I intended to finish by last night.
I sat there in front of telly, reading while watching the MVs..
Then feeling like studying in my room, I went to the kitchen to make myself a mug of hot Milo.
So as I was waiting for the water to boil, I took my favourite blue mug out of the cabinet. But out of a sudden, it slipped off my fingers and fell on to the floor and broke. It broke!!

"Aaaaaaaaaa...!!!!", I screamt. I was frustrated you know. My lovely mug is now broken. Sedih tau.

I only bought two mugs all these 2 and a half years, and now the one I favour most is broken. Thanks to my clumsy hand of course. Only one left, and that one is too big that I usually use it to eat, not to drink. Sigh.

Buy a new one? Not in the mood. Not in the mood of a replacement...

Tanpa Penutup

Hari ini dan semalam dan hari sebelum semalam, saya sibuk belajar.
Banyak alat tulis yang teman saya belajar, termasuklah 5 batang highlighter yang saya beli dengan harga 99sen kesemuanya.
Hari ini, saya tersedar yang highlighter warna oren telah hilang penutupnya. Highlighter yang selama ini gagah membantu saya menerangkan isi-isi penting, sudah kering dakwatnya.
Masih ada dalam badan, cuma sudah tak mampu untuk diluahkan. Masih bernyawa, tapi tak mampu nak berjasa. Hanya sebab ia hilang penutup.
Pen tanpa penutup, highlighter tanpa penutup, seolah-olah dakwat dia hilang macam tu sahaja. Kalau pensil masih boleh lagi, sebab pensil memang pada asalnya jarang yang berpenutup.
Pensil memang biasa hidup berjasa tanpa penutup. Highlighter umpama tak bernyawa tanpa penutup. Penutup pelengkap highlighter la kiranya ni.
Mungkin ada maksud tersirat, atau mungkin ini cuma tulisan tanpa arah.
Apa yang saya pasti, highlighter saya yang warna oren sudah tak mampu nak membantu saya, dan saya sedih. Tapi tak apa, masih ada highlighter-highlighter warna lain yang masih gagah di sisi. Itulah kebaikannya kalau kita ada sesuatu, adakan banyak-banyak. Tamak? Tak adalah, backup orang kata.

Macam yang dalam cerita 'About A Boy', Marcus kata '...a couple won't do. we need backup'.

Hidup Ikut Rentak

Hidup ikut rentak...
Tapi ada rentak yang tariannya tidak saya ketahui...
Bila rentak bertukar, saya masih terkocoh-kocoh belajar yang lama...
Orang kata alah bisa tegal biasa, tak sempat nak tegal, tak sempat nak biasa.

Arus yang bergerak kadang-kadang terlalu pantas sampai terbenci...
Kalau tak bergerak sama, akan ditelan arus...
Mungkin satu hari arus yang akan membenci saya...
Benci tak apa, asal jangan ditelan.

Saya nak jadi macam sumpah-sumpah. Itik mungkin tak sesuai. Sumpah-sumpah, mudah mengadaptasi, tak kira suasana yang menakutkan atau suasana yang menghiburkan. Senang dia berubah, tapi dia masih tetap sumpah-sumpah. Tapi saya tak macam sumpah-sumpah. Harus gimana?

Dalam ini banyak persoalan, tapi kan tak elok tanya banyak soalan-soalan kalau tiada kepentingannya. Namun tetap saya bertanya, cuma tidaklah berharap pada jawapan.

It's Tuesday...

Erm...what am I doing??